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When nothing
else can bring you down, he will find you.
"Over time, the things that we had created in our minds symbiotically identified, and attached themselves to things that were already here. They created new truths which became our reality." Real: Not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory : GENUINE ; also : being precisely what the name implies. The things written on this page are likely to make you think that I'm nuts. For the record, I never claimed to be sane to begin with. A blind man might say that from his perception that the world is always black. We see the world in many different colors. Who's right? Who's wrong? Perception is reality. Here's a tough question. Did we create the paranormal to believe in, or was it always here, and we just became aware of it? I think that the possibility exists that both had happened. For example, humans invented the word 'ghost', and it was attached to spirits of deceased humans who have stayed here on earth for some reason or another. There are a million of other words for paranormal entities such as 'poltergeist', 'demon', 'angel', 'imp', 'specter', and 'wraith'. I could go on and on. I have no idea which word came first, but one led to another and so forth, and over time they've each developed their own meaning and personality within our perception. Why? Because thats what we, humans, rulers of the earth had decided. So did we invent the phenomena in our minds, or was it always here, waiting for us to give it meaning and personality? Does it mater? It's here regardless of how or why... And it's real.
It wasn't an animal. Babel I've always had bad luck. In my head, I know that luck is all in the mind, and It's all about how you perceive things. We also know that perception is reality. It seems that every time things are going great in my life, something or a group of somethings will happen all at once to make it all come crashing down. Now, you may think that this is me just being down on things, and looking too deeply into things. I'll accept that as a possibility. I'll even accept that as a probability. Still, the fact remains that these things would happen. It became a regular thing, and this is not only from my own point of view. My friends of that time, and even those that I'm still friends with today would, and STILL DO razz me about it regularly. I admit that I have an overactive imagination. Most artists do. That doesn't explain those around me being able to notice this phenomenon. Mostly, we all saw it as a joke, just 'one of those things'. As I've stated before, I've always been interested in the paranormal. Years ago, I started using Tarot cards on a regular basis. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I was pretty good at it. Every time I finished giving someone a reading, their eyes would be bugging out of their heads and they'd be in shock because of the accuracy of the reading.
However, it DID inspire me. The Ruiner Growing up, and in my teen years, like today, I was constantly working on some sort of art project. At the time, it was comic books and super heroes that interested me. I've always been a writer, and I was constantly writing some crazy story. In school, it got to the point where, my stories had a following among a lot of the other students, and even a couple of teachers. (Only because they confiscated the stories while I was working on them in class) I have hundreds of characters that I've created with their own back stories, friends, and enemies. In short they all have their own fictional lives. Some characters are weaker than others, while some are so strong that it was VERY difficult, almost impossible to defeat them. Just like every other comic super hero universe, I suppose. Ya know, I'd created so many characters that I actually had to find an easy way to keep track of them all, particularly the way that they looked. What I did was I took white index cards and drew the front view of every single one of them, so I could file them away and had easy access to their design. Why am I telling you this? Well, one of the cards comes into play later. It was the one that featured the character that was called "The Ruiner". One of the stories was about a guy who was a jerk for most of his life, yet it payed off. He stepped on so many toes that it got him to the top of his industry, and a corner office in the highest skyscraper in the city. He was the president of a large corporation which was about to make him richer due to a hostile takeover of a smaller, family owned company. He had a drop dead gorgeous girlfriend who just agreed to marry him, and another bimbo on the side. His life was going well. As a matter of fact, It was going better than it ever had before. Nothing could bring him down. That's when the visions came. He found himself among a large group of people, all of them striving to achieve one goal. They were building a tower to reach heaven. Suddenly, there was an extremely bright flash of light followed by the sound of an explosion from above. There was no time to escape, as the large rocky debris fell fast toward him from above.
As it turned out, his girlfriend was murdered by his bimbo mistress, and to make matters worse, she had named him as an accomplice. Also, during his takeover of that smaller company, he made a few too many clerical errors, and cut one too many corners. Fraud and embezzlement are never good things. He was going away for a long time, if not for one reason, than the other. Yeah, he was a bastard, but the truth was, the man was innocent of all charges against him. That didn't stop the judge from giving him 25 to life. As the judges gavel fell for the final time in the trial, the man once again heard the loud thunderclap and explosion that he heard in his first nightmare. For a second, he would have sworn to see the judge, himself become pitch black, and his eyes shine out. It wasn't all bad. He had a nice view from his cell. He could see his office building, the tallest building in the city, reaching the clouds. And next to it hovered a human figure so dark that light could not penetrate it, and eyes that could see through his soul. So, now you got the basic idea. Rain falls on the just and unjust alike. You could be a saint or an evil prick. The Ruiner doesn't care. Everything sort of 'falls in line' for someone where they feel on top of the world. That's when he comes, restores the balance and makes everything come crashing down. Have you never sensed his presence? No, I don't mean that you've seen visions of The Tower Of Babel, or watched people's eyes glow, and their bodies turn black. I mean, haven't you ever been in a situation where everything was going right for you, yet in the back of your mind you were waiting for everything to fall apart? I think we all have. He was watching you. Maybe he gave you a pass, maybe he didn't. The Fusion Of Reality & Fantasy Some of the people who followed my fiction saw The Ruiner as being real, in a sense. He exists somewhere between fantasy and reality. If something bad were to happen to myself or one of my friends, I'd always hear somebody say, "That damn Ruiner!" I still hear it to this day, and when I think things might crash and burn, I think of him. That isn't the only reason the character seems to exist as a much stronger presence that what's written on paper. Over 10 years ago, I decided that I wanted to try my hand at airbrush painting. I bought the airbrush and a buttload of paints, and decided that I wanted to paint a 'Tower Card'. I wanted to add The Ruiner to the image of the tower because I've always felt that they went hand in hand. Oddly enough, in NONE of my previous works, had ever I drawn the two in the same picture. I haven't done it again since. I remember using masking tape to mask off areas where I didn't want to spray. I can't remember actually painting anything. That weekend, my friend who I call 'V', (on our message board she goes by the name 'Thea Zara',) came to town to visit and hang out. She also happens to be the one who always did my card readings. Because I can't remember a damn thing about what happened when painting the thing, she's agreed to write what SHE remembered about the whole thing, and how she perceived the events that went down.
During that visit, Bill's house had a very oppressive feel to it, and twice during that visit, I caught sight of IT watching me. Needless to say, both times scared the hell out of me. Months later, I returned to visit Bill. The house didn't exactly feel right, but the feeling of some 'thing' hanging over us was diminished. The painting he'd spent so much time and money (Art supplies and airbrush equipment aren't exactly cheap.) on was leaning against the wall in his hallway, facing the wall. He didn't want to look at it, he didn't want it in his room, but he couldn't bring himself to destroy it. I could tell despite his love of the paranormal, this painting scared him. Unlike him, I was drawn to the piece. It's not a matter of art love, even though I do think its an incredible, if unfinished, piece. It simply 'felt' like I should take care of it. It 'felt' important to me. Bill was more than happy to turn custody of the piece over to me. I can speculate up one side and down the other about what the painting means, what it doesn't mean, and what it is and isn't, but I won't do that here. What I will tell you is what I feel. I feel in someway the Ruiner, IT, whatever you call that thing, was drawn to Bill and I, and I later found out my family. I think that painting either locked it away, or locked it out. The thing that came to mind about that, was the old tales about cameras or mirrors capturing one's soul or evil spirits. I think about that, and I simply know I have to keep that painting safe." Incidentally, I haven't picked up a tarot deck since. So, I asked her to dig it out of whatever hole she was keeping it in and scan it onto the computer and send it to me. It was so big that she had to scan it in pieces. I'm sure you can tell by looking at it how I pieced it back together. The only thing I really remember about the whole thing was that I thought the painting sucked. I mean, look at the thing. It's pretty bad. Maybe I'll use photoshop to complete it or redo it at some point. Right now, I want to thank V for writing that up for this page. God knows, for the life of me, I can't get her to talk to us on the message board. (I'm gonna' get hit for that one) 'IT', Ruiner, or whatever you want to call it, whether they're their own individual entities, or they're one in the same may, or may not exist. As stated at the beginning of this page, it's all based on your perception, and perception is reality. The possibility exists that they and many other unknown entities exist. We just haven't encountered them yet. That's why it's image is all over this site, and it's kinda' become mascot of The Beyond. Possibilities. The Ruiner serves as a reminder to me that there are always possibilities, and although we sometimes catch a quick glimpse into The Beyond, we haven't even scratched the surface of what's really out there.  |
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